I’m going to get a little philosophical today.
Well….maybe philosophical isn’t really the right word,
but I’m going to unload a little.
I received an e-mail the other day that really upset me. It was from a “fellow Christian” who had opinions about the appropriateness of some of my blog content as well as opinions about me as a person. The main premise of the message was that the author felt that my blog was completely shallow and that I should be spending less time worrying about what I’m wearing and more time investing in things that are “eternal” like sharing my faith with others.
I may not talk about being a Christian very often on my blog, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important to me. It’s mainly because I don’t want to be lumped in with the images of pious, unloving, judgmental people that many associate with the word.
I enjoy beautiful things; whether it’s a beautiful sunset on the beach or a beautifully tailored dress. I also believe that the God who created me created me to delight in beauty and that denying that part of myself would be to deny the person that I believe He’s created me to be. If people think that makes me frivolous, then so be it. I do not need to justify myself and apologize for who I am. I may not be changing the world or anything, but I’ve made so many great relationships through this blog and received so many messages from people thanking me for inspiration I’ve provided to them in one way or another. This is not to “toot my own horn” or anything, but simply to say that blogging is relational, which is one of the most important ways we can spend our time – relating to and investing in other people.
I’m not upset about the e-mail anymore. The author actually apologized before I could even say anything which I really appreciated, but it made me stop to think about how often we judge others….how often I judge others and that made me sad. I don’t ever want to make anyone feel the way I felt when I received that e-mail, but I probably have before. That’s not to say that I have to agree 100% with everything that everyone else does and push my values aside. It just means that I need to realize that it’s not my job to change people. I’m just called to be loving and kind to others. To bring them a meal or babysit their child or loan them a dress for a party or just listen to their bad day. To be a friend. And that’s it. It’s kind of liberating really, because I can’t change the world but I can be a friend and be the best me that I can and that’s not so hard.
I know this was probably kind of random for a Monday morning, but I felt like waxing philosophy I guess….hope you didn’t mind terribly. Also, I don’t want you to feel like you need to jump on my bandwagon, because that’s really and truly not what I was going for. I’m not trying to get people upset over the e-mail that was written, but more examining myself and my heart about things. Sometimes even in seemingly negative situations we are able to realize something about ourselves and I love that.
Happy MLK Jr. Day!
xo
{Lauren}
You couldn’t have said that any better, Lauren! You are inspiring, and I enjoy reading what you have to say and even seeing what you wear! Don’t ever let anyone else’s opinion about you bring you down.
YOU are YOU. And that’s why we love your blog so much!
ugh. thats hard stuff. i know how you feel completely…that kind of thing has happened oh so many times to me.. sorry! I think you are a beautiful person inside and out and i don’t even know you!
it’s so sad how judgmental people can be! I’m so sorry you had to read that email and be hurt by those words. I’m glad you’re not upset by it anymore. You’re a wonderful person, so inspiring and loving (I could tell from the first post I read, and within 5 minutes of meeting you in person). Remember that this is your blog and your space and we support you in whatever you write about 🙂
hey. i am a christian too and i do talk about it on my blog from time to time. but i don’t think that by talking about it people will put you in the basket of being “pious, unloving, judgmental people” as you say, because from the other things you write, it’s clear you just aren’t that person. I think it’s ok to talk about God if it’s important to you and i don’t think others would judge because of that…. and i think it’s ok not to talk about God/religion too.. it’s your blog.. do what you want!
And I agree with you, I don’t think God would deny you of the things you find beautiful – God is a loving God and He created all things, making each one of us different and unique and able to appreciate all sorts of things.
anyway.. thanks for sharing & don’t be discouraged!
I envy you because of your blog. I also live in Portland but have yet to do or see the stuff you have blogged about. I also love your fashion reports and the pictures that you help create. I can only wish to dress like you but I have no fashion sense what so ever. I know you probably didn’t want a pity party but this is really how I feel about your blog.
oh… don’t let anyone change you… i love your blog and even though we do not know each other, atleast personally, i still believe and know that you are such a beautiful and kind person. smile 🙂
http://lifeendslovedoesnt.blogspot.com/
Well put. I enjoy your so called ‘frivolous’ blog lots 🙂
I love your blog! and I love how you are.
And I have no words for Christians who think they know everything better.
xo
oh, this makes me cross. It really irritates me when people judge blog authors like that, who are they to tell you how to write your own blog! The person who wrote the email to you is exactly the stereotypical judgemental Christian that I’m sure you are never going to become. You shouldn’t change who you are for anyone. x
Lauren you are lovely and I actually appreciate that your blog does not ever attempt to push your religious views on your readers. I appreciate that is a facet of your life and personality but so is everything else! Love reading your blog and hope you keep doing your thing!!
I think the main part of what a christian should do is spread love and happiness. And your blog totally does that, Lauren! It always brings a spark of happiness in my day!
It always gets touchy when it comes to religion, and many people don’t realize that you don’t have to talk about it directly to show off how you practice it. The way you handled this shows off, beautifully, what you believe. And I agree with Jesslyn Amber…You are You and that is why we do love your blog.
such a great post Lauren. I’m so sorry someone made you feel this way- you don’t deserve it one bit!
It’s really hard to put yourself “out there” and then get judged for being yourself in return. Chirstians were not put on the earth to judge others but often times we do. Nobody is perfect but some Christians often see themselves as better than those who are not. In reality no one deserves God’s grace. It’s people like the one who emailed you that turn people away from God. I hope you have a GREAT day today!
You shouldn’t ever have to feel the need to apologize. I find the internet is filled with its special kind of crazy…….people dealing with their own set of issues who take them out on others because of their own warped perceptions. I have had it done to me more times than I can count. Hang in there!!
I’m so glad you shared this. I’m a Christian too and I could not agree with you more.
i love this post. as a christian myself, i have thought about the fact that i rarely speak of my faith on my blog as well. i say little things here and there, but sometimes i feel guilty about not posting more.
thank you for sharing your feelings on the subject. i couldn’t agree with you more.
xo monica
Yuck, I’m sorry that happened to you. I stopped using Formspring because of stuff like that… people are a little too bold behind the veil of anonymity. I love your positive little attitude though!
The way I see it, we are not simply the person we portray on our blogs. There is no way we could know every single thing about you simply by reading your blog. So I’m not going to sit and judge you simply based on the words and pictures you put here.
I’m glad that the person who sent the email apologized.
oh lauren, i wish that people never got these sorts of emails, esppecially from people that don’t know you personally. i KNOW that you’re an amazing person, and that you’re completely secure in your faith and not afraid to say it. i’ve never once thought you were shallow because you like to wear clothes. i like to wear clothes, too. i bet lots of other christians like to wear clothes, and furthermore, i bet they like to look nice in those clothes, but i would never consider that shallow.
i guess i could go on for days on this one, but my point is, maybe you didn’t change the world, but you’ve improved the blogging world by just being you, with your positive personality and way of looking at things, and i thank you for that. i’m glad i’ve gotten to know you, through blogging and in real life (yay!), and i’ll always consider you a true friend, and someone i can look to for inspiration, no matter what the subject!
love you…for everything!
i just HATE people that think just because they’re religous it makes them a better person. which is not true. i wouldn’t listen to him. if he has the time to send you an e-mail and insult you and your blog like that, than obviously he has to reconsider his own life’s purpose and what he does with that time. just saying.
sorry if i sound harsh, that just makes me mad.
oh wow, i would definitely be hurt by that email too. i am a christian, and although my faith comes up on my blog here & there, it certainly does not permeate every post. i too, like to share things i find beautiful (including clothes) & i don’t think there is anything wrong with that. only God knows your heart, don’t let others’ judgmental opinions get to you. i myself enjoy your blog and your spirit 🙂 i think it’s great that you are yourself on here & that you are not apologetic.
You are such an inspiration!! I love reading your beautiful blog and I think that you are a beautiful person inside and out!!!
Keep writing about what you love hon!!!
xoxoxo
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences and thoughts on this, Lauren. I think it’s incredibly easy to starting judging other people when they don’t fit into our stereotypical molds of what a “Christian” looks like. I think we’re all guilty of doing that from time to time, but it’s important to remember that God created each of us to be different and to glorify Him in our own individual and creative ways – which for you I believe is to delight in the beauty of design and be an amazing friend, daughter and wife.
I would say that whoever wrote the e-mail probably wanted to approach you because she felt burdened for you or really cared about you and the people who read your blog. But maybe she didn’t deliver her thoughts in the most loving or appropriate way. I think what you said about just being who God created you to be – or as John has often said, “Love God and then do what you love to do.” – is a perfect mantra to live by.
Sometimes I feel self conscious about my quirks or “imperfections,” so I often have to remind myself that God constructed me purposefully and to his perfect standards – and if he created me to his liking than who am I to argue with the way I turned out? We are all who we are for a reason, and even though we’re deemed righteous and blameless in God’s sight because of Christ, God also calls us to realize that we’re constant works in progress as we seek and ask Him to change us to look more like His Son.
Anyways, that’s kind of a lot to say, but I wanted to share a few of my thoughts. Just know that I think you’re beautiful and the way that you celebrate life on a daily basis IS glorifying to God.
So keep doing what your’e doing – keep loving and serving Craig; keep being a light in the workplace; keep being a good friend; keep loving other people; and keep seeking God intimately and diligently on a daily basis- because that’s all you really need to do.
Hope you’re having a great day friend. Miss you dearly,
Dana
What a hurtful email! It’s shocking what people will say to an absolute stranger. It’s good that the sender apologized, but the original email was absolutely uncalled for, and should never have been sent.
I’m not a Christian, but sometimes I worry about the frivolity of my blog. Then I remind myself that my blog – and everyone’s blog – represents a teeny tiny portion of my life. I’m willing to bet that almost everyone (including the person who sent that email) has frivolous aspects of their life; only some of us choose to share those aspects in a very public way.
Your blog is beautiful and inspirational – don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that!
amen. absolutely. yes.
i can’t agree with you more.
i’m sorry you had to get a hurtful email but know that in those relationships you make through blogging you do change the world. you change the lives of the individual people for the better which in turn changes the world for the better.
i never have found this blog to be shallow – i appreciate it very much. and you as well.
lots and lots of love.
This is really well put, Lauren. It’s so sad that Christianity has such a negative connotation to so many people. There are just so many people that do negative and hurtful things and say it’s in the name of our Lord. It makes me really sad.
On the other hand I think you do a great job of showing people what a kind, relational, and creative Christ follower looks like. Through this blog you have the opportunity to reach out to many individuals of all walks of life and that is encouraging news for me. I know those reading your blog are seeing a positive representation of Christianity.
-Kira
Honestly … you are such an honest blogger. AND when I met you in person I was elated to know that what you see is what you get. Last night I was just describing you to are friends .. the ones coming to Portland and this is what I said, Lauren is creative, real, genuine and down to earth. I feel like from what you write about, wear and create, your posts show that. Sending you a hug and much love!!! XO!
thank you for your honest, creative, and faithful philosophical monday post.
i agree that we all need a little more love, and on a day where we honor a man who promoted non-violence, restoration, and peace, this is an appropriate tribute!
Lauren, I have never found your blog to be shallow. If anything, I always thought you were more real than most! It’s really unfortunate that people feel the need to bring others down with their careless opinions.
Your response shows your class as well…keep on doing what you do 😉
I don’t mean for this to come off as rude, but judgemental assumptions like what happened to you are why I am completely turned off to religion. It’s ridiculous that someone else who follows the same religion as you would feel that they are “higher than thou” and can try and tell you that you’re not practicing Christianity right.
That being said, I love your blog. I think you’re very fashionable and inspirational in that sense, but you do it with a sincere humbleness that I adore. I think your philosophical waxing makes a lot of sense- this is your blog and you can’t change people, just like they can’t change you! 🙂
I think it is sad when then ENEMY uses fellow Christians as weapons to bring others down. As hard as it is we must remember this “battle is not against flesh and blood”.
Kudos to you!
and P.S. one of the reasons I like to follow your blog is I thought you were a “fellow Christian” with similar ideals. So somehow, I definitely got that message from your posts! 🙂
aw lauren.
it upsets me that someone had to go and say judgemental things about your blog without knowing you personally. that’s dumb.
this is just a tiny piece of your life, and you aren’t accountable to anyone but God.
I’m a Christian too. and I like clothes! you don’t wear or say sinful things; you’re just a person who is enjoying life.
goodness.
anyway, it was mature of you to handle things the way you did.
good one, lauren!
Ah. The beauty of humans… there will always be someone out there judging everyone and thinking they’re better. Heck, it’s your life, you live it as you see fit, what should they care about it?
I’ve gone through REALLY SIMILAR situations with people at my church or kids I grew up with in the church, before we left there (and now church shopping…) You wrote about the same point I wanted to portray, but you did it way more beautifully than I probably could. I’m glad you wrote this. You ARE an inspiration!
peace&love.
pickingwildflowersblog.blogspot.com
Oh, dear heart, I know what you mean! I, too, have had to come to grips very recently with how God has given us our personalities and our attractions with which to enjoy the beauty and the good in the world. The line “and the things of earth will grow strangely dim” just doesn’t seem exactly right. My thoughts are that, in the light of Jesus’ goodness and grace, the beauty and goodness in the world becomes more brilliant! Creativity, fashion, pretty things, those are all parts of what God’s put here for us to love! It’s awesome!
Thank you for standing by what you believe. When I was struggling with this issue (seriously, like, last week), I actually thought of you as an example of someone who was doing things right. Thanks, friend, for being yourself. God’s using you as a blessing.
<3
I’m glad you posted this. In all cheesiness…I think “the little things we do” explains what’s most important. Assuming that a vast majority of your readers are not believers, they tune into your life everyday to see the “little things” which in itself is an incredible testament to your life. You are genuine and your shouldn’t have to conform to a mold just because you are a believer. It’s so refreshing for people to see a beliver doing fun and exciting things and having actual passions and interests(imagine that). Just because we are believers doesn’t mean we have to be boring!
Just as Christ created his Word for us to enjoy, he created beautiful things for us to enjoy as well, which is the main purpose of your blog…to share the beautiful things you see, do and find right? People clearly like looking at beautiful things or else you wouldn’t have 9897432 followers. You are like a little light in the big, blogging world! Hugs 🙂 Can’t wait to try rib pizza! 🙂
Hi Lauren,
I read your whole post but didn’t make it through all of the comments, so I am sure part of what I am going to say was already said by other readers.
I am glad you did a post about this for a few reasons. First of all, just the fact that you took some time to think about this and then blog about it demonstrates that you are not at all a frivolous person.
I can also remember a time (maybe last summer), when someone I’ve never met (not even through the internet) wrote a really nasty comment on my blog. It hurt my feelings, and I put a Twitter post about it. You immediately commented, and it made me feel a lot better.
There are some nasty people out there. Brush off the haters 🙂 Keep doing what you are doing. Your blog has touched a lot of people. It is never mean-spirited. It is creative, and it is so very YOU. It’s also become somewhat of a business for you. As long as you are kind, honest, and genuine, and doing what you love, it doesn’t matter if someone else thinks your “what I wore posts are frivolous.”
Can’t Christians have hobbies?
Fashion is creative. It’s art & design that is functional and wearable. Why is painting considered “high art” but fashion/style is considered frivolous? You clearly have a lot of depth that goes far beyond your awesome sense of style. Ignore the negative and focus on the positive. Happy Monday.
-Courtney
Very well put =). Thanks for sharing.
I read your blog and enjoy it. If we can’t enjoy the little things in life how the heck are we supposed to take on the big things? =)
Oh friend,
I feel like this post was stolen from a little side part of my brain. Good news for you…. you get to hear me vent.
I like my blog (am I allowed to say that?), I enjoy the writing, I enjoy what I wear and most of the time it’s a good waste of time. However, I never self promote my blog because I am terrified that everyone in my church will find out and just sum me up as superficial. And I am superficial certainly but there is more to me. My blog is a slice of my life, the life I allow online, not the whole thing but some people will read it and see that as all of me. My friends are having babies and I am having fake fashion shoots. I don’t really advertise my Christianity on my blog because I want my blog to be about fashion and thrifting but it does come up. I think I need to get over it and stop being so afraid of my dirty little secret…shhhh… I have a fashion blog.
Sorry to spew… I like your blog, I think it’s a happy, nice place… glad the author apologized and you feel better! xo
This fellow Christian should understand that being spiritual is not about judgment and judgment is not theirs to pass, but being a christian is about accepting people and loving.
I think your blog and wonderful and you are inspiring. This fellow christian is a poor excuse for a true christian and is just some poor sad person who is jealous and hateful of their own sadly unfulfilled life.
I love visiting your corner of the internet and can honestly say I have never thought of you as shallow.
I’m a Christian as well and do not think you have to bring the Bible into every conversation to make you dedicated.
Keep up the great work, Lauren. I love following along with your adventures. 🙂
Lauren,
I don’t know you, but what I know of you is your wonderful blog, which makes me happy whenever I read it.
You should never be made to feel bad about your personal expression.
It is yours to give.
And not everyone understands it…and that’s ok.
The right people see the heart of what you are and think you’re just perfect the way you are.
Love,
C
P.S. I’m a Buddhist and I’m pretty sure there are people from other faiths reading this;)
I’m sorry you were judged like that, but I’m happy the person apologized. You definitely have responded eloquently to the accusation and are a beautiful woman for doing so!
I’m a Christian too and I love your blog. I think sometimes it’s about showing your personality through your blog (which you do), which will then show people that you have something special, which will, in turn, hopefully make them ask questions about your faith. I hope this makes sense, because sometimes it’s not all about thrusting your faith in people’s faces, cause that’s not what they want to hear, but showing them gently, through what you do x
as Christians, we all have different gifts that God gives us to minister to others with! Some may seem more like they are “changing the world” then others, but really God has them all working for one purpose & i believe that is to show love! if we are a reflection of His love, we are changing the world! 🙂
all i got to say is PUKE! i hate christians who act all high and mighty!
you are awesome. xo
B
I am also a Christian, a missionary in fact, who also blogs. But I don’t like putting myself in a box and only posting missionary things. I live outside of the US and I write about that. Sometimes I write about a project or a ministry we are just beginning. But those days don’t make me anymore of a Christian than the other days do.
Geesh.
Christians do such a great job of shooting each other… and that makes me sad.
Joy & Blessings,
Alida
It bums me out that people feel the need to stop what they are doing and send an e-mail like that. My husband and I were talking about this last night. It’s so important to give people that benefit of the doubt. He was talking about a girl in his class who he had judged and then she opened up to him and said her brother killed himself two months ago and it really made my husband stop and think. It’s so nice to realize when you’re being judgmental before it hurts someone. For me, I think having been through some really hard times in my life it makes me stop and think about other people and give them the benefit of the doubt, What if they are going through something like I’ve gone though? People are just meant to be loved and I’ve really been trying to work trying to do that. I definitely have my morals as a Christian and I let people know how I feel about things, but even if they don’t make choices that I agree with that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop loving them. It’s also a bummer when someone makes a choice they know you don’t agree with so they draw away instead of just giving you the chance to continue loving them. I’m so glad that you wrote about this, it’s a really important subject, and honestly, it’s what being a Christian is about, love, not hate or judgment.
I totally know where you are coming from… I am a Christian and 90% of the Christians that you seen on the news or TV embarrass me (THEY embarrass me, I will never be embarrassed to say I’m a Christian). And I worry about being seen as shallow on my blog too, but I figure my blog is about my personal style and I choose to put it in that forum. So then I don’t spend the rest of my time fretting about fashion, I put that on the blog and the rest of the day I do my job and do things with friends and family. It would be too much to put EVERYTHING on the blog, so I focus on my personal style and some other stuff leaks on there too, obviously. But I try not to worry too much about what other people percieve based on what they see on the blog as they only see one small slice of my life. It sounds like you got it all sorted out in your mind, but what a strange thing to do! I would never email a stranger and presume to tell them how to live their life better! The nerve!
sweetie, IGNORE THAT PERSON. i’m glad they apologized, but that kind of person is so toxic. there is nothing wrong with you or your blog; your weekly fill-in-the-blanks bring me and so many others so much happiness every single week. i look forward to them so much!
stay beautiful. stay YOU. and feel free to get a little philosophical anytime you need to.
xo
-vanessa-
thechinncredibles.blogspot.com