If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, then you probably read about how Fern and I were on Good Morning America yesterday morning, or maybe you even saw it. A lot of you were sweet enough to take the time to watch and leave nice comments, so thank you for that. (Here’s the link if you didn’t see it and you care to take a peek).
Anyway, despite the “glamour” of it all, I wanted to tell you what being on TV is actually like…the truth behind TV if you will. I also wanted to talk about the stuff they didn’t share and my thoughts on the slant GMA took with the story. OK, now on with the behind-the-scenes.
First of all, you get approximately 2.6 seconds of warning before a camera crew shows up at your house. I got a call in the morning, saying they were interested in interviewing me. I told them my time frame of availability and they said they’d get back to me ASAP to let me know when a crew would be coming. I didn’t hear back, so I left to go grocery shopping because we were literally out of EVERYTHING (like…I used the last squares of toilet paper that morning and had to hold it ’til our shopping trip…that was the severity of the situation).
Anyway, halfway through the trip around noon, I get a call saying the crew will be at my house by 1:30. I did the math in my head and realized that an hour-and-a-half would be cutting it close since I still had to finish my grocery shopping (because, toilet paper you guys), but an hour-and-a-half would probably give me barely enough time to make my hair look a little less hot mess-ish and to swipe on some lipstick.
So I get home and rush in the door, drop my groceries and race to the room to find something semi-presentable to wear and I hear a knock at my front door. Ugh. So I didn’t get to do my hair or change my outfit, but at least I did get to freshen up my makeup. Priorities you know.
Anyway, the crew was there for about three hours, following Fern I around during what was very much past her nap time. They were nice enough to film her first though and then let me put her down for a nap so I could be interviewed. Still…it’s not the best time of your life keeping an overtired toddler happy for cameras…especially when they ask you, “Oh yeah! We heard you do a lot of outfit posts. Do you think you could do a little photo shoot right now for us to film?” Ummm…OK. That sounds awesome. Taking photos outside in 90 degree weather, during my kid’s grumpiest time of day. Fern was a champ, but honestly that’s not how outfit photos typically transpire. The vast majority of the time (like almost always), I just get her dressed in an outfit for the day and then we do a quick 5-minute (tops…usually more like 2-3 minutes) photo sesh before we’re headed out for whatever errands our day holds. It’s not really this big production, because yes, she actually does wear these clothes.
Anyway, here’s the thing about the interview…
A lot of you who left comments on my Instagram feed and Facebook post expressed that you disagreed with the slant that GMA took on the topic, which was that moms are kind of obsessed with Instagram and here’s the thing…I was honestly pleasantly surprised that I didn’t end up looking like a complete stage mom. From the questions they were asking me and from the footage they got of me taking outfit photos I was sure I was going to look straight up cray. The questions were things like, “OK, but wouldn’t you say that means you’re a little obsessed with Instagram?” – definitely leading, which can be a little tricky to wriggle out of when you’re not a seasoned pro at being interviewed. I’ll admit, the segment did make me seem a little more intense than I actually am when it comes to social media, especially considering the fact that we talked about the fact that a big part of my social media presence is necessary because of my job as a blogger (which they didn’t mention). They also didn’t mention that I am a wardrobe/prop stylist, which might’ve made it seem a little less weird that I do outfit posts. It’s all part of the gig…a part that I love, but still.
They did cut a lot of what I had to say obviously, since it’s not like they’re offering me my own hosting spot or anything and the segments are tiiiiny, so I expected that. I had hoped they would choose some other sound bites though. For example…at the beginning where I make the comment, “Some moms have play groups, I have Instagram.” I was answering a question about how I got started with Instagram. I talked about how it was during my early days as a mama when I had the postpartum blues and not a clue what I was doing and I felt overwhelmed, discouraged and completely like life as I knew it before was over forever. I talked about how Instagram became my little community of support…my “mom tribe”…my version of a play group, back when getting out of the house took at least three hours. I talked about how it was an incredibly positive place for me and that all the encouragement and advice from parents who had gone before me really helped me find my way in my motherhood journey.
I shared how Instagram can create unrealistic expectations for us as parents, because we’re only seeing everyone’s best and brightest moments. We’re seeing the highlight reel of their life. I expressed that this has made me feel inadequate many times, but that I’ve come to realize that it’s not all real. We’re not all snapping photos of toddler tantrums, fights with our husbands and dinner fails (though, those definitely pop in from time to time). We share the happy, cute moments and that’s OK. My feed is the same, but I sincerely hope you never get the illusion that my life is perfect, because it isn’t. It’s great, but definitely not perfect. Anyway, I shared the fact that I had created the #parentingforreal hashtag during a time when I was struggling with this in order to create a little more reality on IG for parents. That part was cut though.
I also talked about setting limits for myself. I talked about how I used to be more “obsessed” with it and I found myself becoming “addicted to the feedback” (which was the clip they used) and was totally overgramming. I talked about how I realized that this wasn’t healthy and that I was missing out on my daughter’s childhood, because I wasn’t being present – I was living life through a lens and that wasn’t the image that I wanted Fern to remember. I suggested that other parents consider doing the same. Nothing at all wrong with sharing photos of your kids, but make sure you’re actually present for them during these fun experiences as well and that will look different for every parent.
So, that’s what you missed out on. I’m not upset with Good Morning America for the way the spun it, because I knew going in that it would probably be something like this, but I am a little bummed that they cut some of the things about how positive the IG community has been for so many mothers. I have no regrets about Instagram and I love the fun interactions I get to have there with all of you, so thank you for that. I so appreciate all of your encouragement and suggestions as I’m navigating this whole mama thing. Learning as I go for sure.
Oh..and that psychologist at the end…totally NOT a fan. She was so snarky and I was totally sure that there was no way she actually had kids, so I looked her up and apparently she has two…although I didn’t see anything in her title that called her a “parenting expert”, because she’s a sexologist and relationship expert. Not the same. Anyway, all her comments about getting consent from our children were kind of ridiculous. I definitely think it’s important to get the OK from other parents when you share photos of your child with theirs as well as getting consent from older children, but getting consent from a little baby? Not possible. Getting consent from a toddler? Ummm…no. We are the parents and we are making the best decisions that we can for our children. That includes how we share their photos. When I am posting photos and writing about Fern I always consider whether or not what I am posting will be embarrassing to her one day. This is why you read mostly good things. As much as we have those gross moments or those tantrum moments, I try not to focus on them a ton, only because I don’t want her to look back one day and feel like all I ever did was complain about her. Most of the time, the frustrations I’m experiencing as a parent aren’t really about her anyway…they’re a result of me and my short fuse in handling those things. I try to tell MY story, with Fern in it, because she is definitely a part of that, but I intend to leave her a story that she can share herself one day…one that wasn’t written out by me, because only she can tell that story…it is hers to tell.
Anyway, there you have it. Longest post ever. If you made it to the end you get a gold star and a high five. Thanks for reading this little blog :).
Love and mamahood,
Lauren
P.S. You can check out Pilar Clark’s response to the segment as well…she was the other mom you saw with the two little ones.
Love this post. I agree with everything you said, I think. I thought you did great in the segment, but appreciate hearing your side of the story.
I was glad you mentioned the affirmation thing in your interview. I have been talking to Eric about this exact same thing lately. One of the first things I do in the morning is look at Facebook and Instagram and see the likes/comments on my photos. I do read my Bible first but I know I place an unhealthy importance on how many followers I have and how many likes my photos get. (I’m embarrassed to say this, but it’s true.)
Sidenote: Recently I realized that I get a lot more likes it’s a photo of me rather than my child, so that tells me that people want more of that and less of Roo. I definitely still Instagram her daily, though. Not a big fan of selfies 🙂
Thanks Kelsey.
It’s definitely easy to get caught up in social media…especially when it’s part of a job, like it is for us…it becomes a big part of your world. That said…it’s just social media. Good to keep things in perspective which I definitely have to do from time to time. Sometimes I get derailed and I have to be really conscious about it.
And that’s awesome that your photos get more likes than Roo’s! My photo are the opposite. People like Fern more, which I’m OK with. She’s more fun to dress than dressing myself anyway ;).
Good news is that the Insta mommy community will def disagree with the piece as you would if you saw it and were watching another mom featured. Boo for how they spun it and yeah the way that “professional” was dressed alone (I had to go back and figure out who said psychologist was) …add in her talk about being conceited. I don’t think she is one to talk. Doesn’t seem creditable to me. #justsaying
Good thing I have my insta-mommy tribe :).
Love this post. Glad to hear about how the experience went. I sort of cringe when I hear about the behind the scenes of many interviews. I went to journalism school and I feel that what TV is doing now days is not journalism. It is telling stories…. sometimes even fiction. It isn’t giving the whole picture. It’s giving the side that came out from someone in a pitch meeting. It isn’t about opening people’s minds, it is about telling them what they want to hear (or whatever will get the most page views.) I’m glad that you handled the whole thing so well. Congrats!
Thanks Jenni. I know we are definitely on the same page social media wise and i definitely always appreciate your feedback.
Fascinating. I love seeing behind the scenes.
Janssen – Ha! Yeah…not quite so fancy as you might’ve thought ;).
Well said and true. Love you L.
And I you Caroline.
I watched the video interview after reading your post here. I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, participating in your blog hop that you discontinued, by the way. Anyway, after hearing/reading both sides, I think you got a raw deal. First of all, they misrepresented you by not stating that you are a paid blogger in addition to being a mom. Saying “stay at home mom” implies that you don’t work at all. I think by leaving that out, GMA intentionally implied that you don’t have anything better to do than to post pictures of your family to social media sites and that is insulting on several levels.
It’s nice for them all to be able to sit on television, with their faces all over the media mind you, and judge you and all of us moms for posting pictures online. What is acceptable and unacceptable exposure is completely subjective. A “sexologist” certainly is NOT an expert on families, especially a parent/child relationship. Gah! GMA’s take on this really rubbed me the wrong way, lol.
P.S. You looked just fine in the interview. If you hadn’t said that you didn’t have time to get ready, I never would have guessed it. 😉
Trisha – yeah. I wish they had mentioned that both of us moms were bloggers, but c’est la vie. Just reminds me not to judge all of the things I see on TV ;).
that was so good Lauren. i loved hearing the behind the scenes. it’s a weird world we live in, but I really enjoy the community that instagram builds. For me, the community is mostly with people I know personally and i feel like it’s great because friends and family can feel more connected to us and our crazy busy lives. I don’t have time to go visit the people I love dearly all the time, but they can catch up with us and I them. It can be addicting – that’s for sure. But i try to make a point of posting only when I have a chance or just posting and let it be and go back to enjoying the moments. I love how kelsey above said she checks in the morning, thats real life… haha but I LOVE how she said she reads her bible first.so good!
I do tire of the same type of pictures over and over and for me Instagram is a small creative outlet. Trying to find creative ways to capture life at beautiful moments. I too remember having this 6 week old baby, husband is back at work, and feeling like I can’t be creative because my hands are full and alone.
I found a new mama a few months ahead in experience then me and she was painting. I was filled with so much hope that these days would get easier. I don’t even follow her anymore but those few months, she was such an encouragement to me!
It can be hard to remember people’s lives are more rugged then it appears, but if you do, it helps you enjoy others lives through their feed, celebrate with them what thy want to treasure and be thankful for your own.
I appreciate your honesty & humor in your articles and your feed – even if you are now the poster child for obsessed instagram moms 😉
First of all – love your name! Have never heard the name Kindsey! Secondly, thanks for your thoughtful feedback and for taking the time to read my blog. It means so much. I couldn’t agree more about the creative outlet and what you said about celebrating the treasured moments of others. It’s a beautiful thing!
I think you did a great job! And totally reinforced that thought in reading the circumstances. Way to go Fern for keeping it all together for the cameras 🙂
I was seriously amazed with how well she did during grumpy time. It was like a little miracle!
I totally agree –and especially agree with you about the “expert.” As always, you came across totally fabulous. 🙂
Haha! Thanks Ruthy ;).
Well number 1, you look gorgeous for having just thrown yourself together so props on that!! And number 2, even though they spun it it was encouraging to see the GMA hosts calling themselves and people who aren’t even Mom’s being guilty on IG! Glad you weren’t slammed by them for something that you really didn’t even say to begin with! 🙂 I love all of your stuff by the way!
Thank you Jessica! And I totally agree. LOVED the GMA hosts. Props to them :). Thanks for popping in to say hello!
It would have made a lot more sense for them to involve what *you actually do* for a living.
Three hours down to what, two minutes? That’s television!
Especially during grump time after the grocery store? Girl, have a drink. You deserve it.
This is why I say you should never judge anything until you know the full story.
Casey – Yeah. Definitely would’ve made more sense. And totally a crash course in what TV is really like. It made me think back to all the times I’ve judged other parents after watching quick interviews like this and it made me cringe. I’m sure a lot of the things I’ve judged in the past were probably also spun and edited as well. It will definitely make me think twice before judging in the future.
I like how the male anchors were trying to pull it back and be, “It isn’t just moms, dads do it to!” And then, “Even people without children.” Like they new the segment was a bit harsh. I am kind of wishing they had shown fuller interviews of you and the other moms. The news just depresses me sometimes.
Good for you for showing what we missed! And thank you. Not enough people take us viewers behind the scenes like that.
You did a lovely job with the spin they took. I don’t think you came off as a show mom. If people follow you, they know you better than that small clip anyway. This is the first time I have posted but I have been a lurker for sometime. I have always loved how Fern is not overly girly, a show mom would have had her dripping in pink princess crown covered tutu-ness. I think you are doing a wonderful job and I appreciate you sharing with us.
I really like your comment in the last paragraph about permission/privacy. It’s a question I’ve been grappling with since I blog and Instagram about my children. Instinctively, I think I’ve landed in the same place, which is that I should always ask myself whether what I am posting would be something they, as teenagers for example, would prefer were private. If not, then fair game. Social media really can be a sanity saver when you are in these early parenting years and feeling isolated and kids win when Mom feels connected to the world. I also love having a highlights reel of my life to look back on because, frankly, sometimes I need a quick reminder that my life is mostly awesome.
Shannon – SO true! I totally do the same…looking back through my feed sometimes while I lay in bed at night after a particularly rough day. It’s a good reminder that motherhood is “mostly awesome” as you said :).
I watched it and I think you came across really well! I knew they had probably cut some stuff out because, well, it’s TV…but it really wasn’t bad. Congrats on getting that gig! And I love my IG…it’s definitely been a great community for me…and if people think I overshare they can go ahead and unfollow. 😉
Thanks Kristel. I appreciate your kind words and couldn’t agree more about the wonderful IG community!