Waking up early on a Sunday morning, I sneak away from the baby who is sweetly snoozing in my bed and tiptoe quietly into the bathroom in an attempt to tame my unruly mop of hair before church. No sooner has the curling wand heated up than I am called back by whimpering cries. Baby boy is awake. I go to nurse him and am greeted by a diaper disaster…the likes of which I’ve never seen. Guess that means it’s time for an early morning bath…one that I hadn’t accounted for when carefully planning my morning. After a bath and some clothes it’s time to wake up big sister. She’s grumpy when awoken and fights me about using the potty and getting dressed, so I give up and leave her in her undies and leave the breakfast and coffee-making up to my husband.
I’m able to finish getting “ready” (i.e. put my hair up in a top knot and throw on a clean shirt and lip gloss) thanks to the help of the Bumbo seat, Sophie the Giraffe and singing Frozen songs on repeat. I then rush to dress my writhing toddler while explaining exactly why we do in fact need to wear shoes. I grab a granola bar to eat on the way and stuff extra diapers in my purse as my husband gets the kids into car seats. By now we’re officially late for the 9:00 AM service.
We rush in and as we do I get puked on by my baby. It’s only a little bit and I’m able to wipe it up with a baby wipe. Good thing I only smell faintly of regurgitated breast milk now. Drop off the big kid and we finally we make it to the “family seating” in back (i.e. the seats for moms who are nursing and have crying babies and will probably have to leave five minutes after church starts).
At this point I’m feeling more than a bit frazzled and seriously re-thinking the choice of going to church this morning. Eating pancakes in my PJs is sounding far more appealing right now. But, then the music plays and prayers are prayed and words from the Bible are read and I relax into it and it feels like a breath of fresh air. I leave feeling refreshed and reminded of what is important in my life.
{Image via Pinterest, but can’t find the original link. Let me know if you know!}
You see…my Christian faith has always been a big part of my life. I grew up with a strict Baptist upbringing where we went to church whenever the doors were open…Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights…it became routine. Church was something you just did. But, in college my faith truly became my own and I realized that blindly following rules wasn’t what it was all about. It was about a personal relationship with Jesus and not just checking off boxes. It was a time of wonderful growth for me. I went to church because I really enjoyed it and I left feeling encouraged and full.
Then I got married and moved back to Portland and over the years church kinda slipped down on the priority list. I felt a little burned out on it honestly and I knew that going to church wasn’t the end-all-be-all of my faith. I could still have a relationship with God and sleep in on Sundays. We still went fairly regularly, but once we had kids it got even harder. The services weren’t at convenient times, or we were up all night with crying babies, or it was too hard to get everything ready and get there on time…there was always an excuse.
But, recently we were feeling like it should be a part of our routine again. Both Craig and I know that going to church isn’t what makes a Christian, but there’s just something about going and sustaining the practice of meeting with a community of Jesus-followers that is like water for my parched soul. I love that quote above: “When the passion goes away, it’s the practice that sustains us.” Basically this is how I feel in my life so often lately. It’s hard to be passionate about much when I’m exhausted from the demands parenting a newborn and a toddler, but during those times it’s the practice…the going and gathering together…that will sustain me.
I don’t usually share my faith a ton on the blog…mostly because it hasn’t been high up on the priority list for the past couple of years, but I just wanted to share what I was learning, because I’m sure I’m not the only one who has struggled with faith during this season of life as a parent. Who has time for it, really? But, I’m finding that when I make the time, everything else seems to fall into place.
So, there you have it. A little bit of what I’m learning lately. Hope it didn’t feel too preachy, but I just wanted to share something more personal today.
Love,
Lauren
My little someone is actually quietly enveloped in her Legos so I read your whole lovely post!
Okay so I realize I only have one 19 month old to deal with, but getting to church just always seems to be a headache and actually listening to the service is a whole other issue! So I came up with a plan that has been working amazingly for us & may be an idea for you guys too! We switch on & off on who goes to Church. So let’s say My husband goes this weekend on his own, the following weekend I go on my own, and the 3rd weekend we go as a family, and the cycle starts again. It gives both of us some mental time alone and we still get to go as a family. The first time my husband went on his own—he came back refreshed and carrying donuts. He told me I came up with a great idea and he thought it was so amazing that he actually got to take in the service, start his day fresh & pray for his family. The first time I went on my own–I totally understood! It was like an epiphany! No watching Luna’s every move, or the other children, or my husband walking her back in forth. So now when we go as a family, I feel like its a treat too and my happy patience is more intact! We all have to do what we gotta do! You’re not alone & Hope this helps!
@Lendy – That’s a great idea! Thanks for sharing. We take Fern to the Sunday School class, but I’m not ready for Clive to be in with the babies just yet…maybe soon…just worried about all the germs!
Lauren,
I’m with ya girl! I have a 26 month old and 5 month old and it is tough to make your relationship with God your top priority. I’m really close with our associate pastor who happens to be the lead pastor’s wife, she told me when I had my first kid that God understands the changes that’s going on in our life and it’s ok for in this season that we lay low and just hunker together as a family to get everything figured out. So don’t feel bad that for this season getting to church may be a little lower on the priority list. This time will pass so fast, I really love getting to go to church, but I don’t feel bad when we don’t make it. I love getting to teach my girls about God through reading books and listening to worship songs. My 2 year old’s favorite right now is God’s Not Dead. Also, our church has live stream, so we can watch the service online on Sunday mornings.
Also, I serve on the worship team at our church every other weekend and my husband travels on the weekends so my mom comes and stays with us on these weekends so I can make it to all the services and the kiddos aren’t stuck at every service with me, it definitely helps.
You’re doing awesome and your an inspiration! Keep it up girl!
Candace
Thanks so much for sharing! I liked you before but I love you now. I am a lifelong Christian and love to see and hear from other people of faith. Not perfect people, not nut jobs, just people who know and love The Lord and who know that makes all the difference.
Thanks for sharing this Lauren.
This was a beautiful, relevant post. Thanks for sharing.
This is good. thank you for sharing! I grew up in the church as well and feel like you do. How it’s important to develop your own relationship. My husband and I struggle to fit in because we’re the only couple under 30 without kids in our small church. We long for the community & fellowship, but it’s so hard when no one else is in the same phase of life with us..
So I can definitely relate as I feel like I’m at a point in my life where my faith probably isn’t quite as high on the priority list as it should be? I grew up going to church and was involved in Bible studies in college, and my husband and I have gone to church somewhat regularly since getting married…but since moving to Portland, we’ve been kind of lazy about it and have definitely indulged in sleeping in and going to brunch on Sunday mornings while it’s still just the two of us 🙂
However, as we get ready to have our first baby, I know that going to church regularly is something I really want to get back into because it was something that was a really great part of my own childhood, plus I know that having the community and support of a church when you have young kids is something that seems so helpful. Not to mention I know that the whole ‘raising a human being’ thing is a going to test and challenge me in ways I can’t even anticipate now, so really strengthening my own personal faith in the Lord is really going to be important and it would be nice to feel like we have a church that is our home base in Portland. We’ve tried a couple different ones and so far we’ve gone to Door of Hope the most and liked it, but I suppose we haven’t decided for sure for sure yet? (I’m also open to recommendations!)
i appreciate you sharing what’s on your heart with this post! 🙂
@Jane – shoot me an e-mail and we can chat churches :)!
It really does make a difference, doesn’t it? Even when actually GETTING there is the least spiritual thing you do all week.
I loved this post! We don’t have children yet, but what you say about actually going to church and hearing the words is so true. Thanks for sharing this today.
Lauren- this is my favorite post you have written. Thank you for being so honest in a culture where Christian is not aligned with being cool… I will be praying for your sweet family as you transition back to regular church attendance, it is SO not easy with little ones! I know the Lord will continue to bless you as you make Him a priority!
Oh faithfulness…definitely the hardest thing in life. I felt like God gave me the word of “faithfulness” this year and of course that means it has never seemed harder. There are always other “things” but that quote is so spot on, it is the practice that really counts. love you and your true and gracious heart
Catching up on some reading and have missed your blog so! I am learning the same lesson right now, strayed from the actual church building for a long while and have found it hard to go back but I can hear a little voice pulling me there and am eager to see what awaits us and the fellowship I know will strengthen us as we’ve been so overwhelmed for so long. Thanks for this Lauren, hope you’re doing well 🙂