The Three-Year-Old’s Guide to Hawaii

The thing about freelance writing for a job is that I am a total procrastinator. I probably make the poor editors I work with crazy with all my attheverylastsecond post offerings. Most of the time they are accompanied by e-mails reminding them that, “I know this is due on Monday, and I know you’re in New York, but it’s 11:30 PM here on the West Coast, so that means it’s technically still on time…” So glad they put up with me.

Anyway, I was feeling particularly uninspired on the day a post was due recently and asked of my editors if she had any fodder for me, because sometimes when you have toddlers screaming and babies grabbing your boobs 24/7 life can feel pretty damn uninspiring. She came up with two brilliant ideas: 1) Giving me an extension – clearly I said yes to this before even hearing the rest. 2) She suggested that with my extension, I have Fern help me with a post all about our trip to Hawaii. Since we were leaving the next day, the timing was perfect. She wanted me to have Fern take some photos of her own to document our adventures and then once we got back, Fern would tell me what to write about each of the photos. This seemed like a win/win…I get an extension and my child can do my work for me! Perfect!

I was a little skeptical about how it would turn out, because three-year-olds basically never want to do anything that’s not their idea (#threenager), but it ended up being pretty hilarious.

This one is my favorite:

“It’s a lei! I got it at the luau and you like it, don’t you? The luau was good, but not so good. It reminds me of the tiki room. (sings) It’s the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room! There was hula girls and there was a boy who did fire sticks. It was grandly! But it’s not very safe to throw fire sticks, because it’s not appropriate. I went up on the stage with Mama and Grandma and there was a lady and she was a hula girl and she taught us a dance. The best part was the fire dancing and fruit punch! It tasted delicious and grandly!”

You can read the rest over at Babble if you’d like!

Happy weekend friends!

xo

Lauren