How To Make Mom Friends Without Being Super Awkward: Part 3

OK, so now you are equipped for How to FIND Mom Friends and you know How to TALK TO Mom Friendsbut none of that really matters unless you can figure out how to take it to the next level…how to get to 2nd base (Oh yes…there are totally bases involved).

How to Make Mom Friends Without Being Awkward // Part 3 of a 3 Part Series @ The Little Things We Do

There’s nothing quite like asking another mom out on a date to throw you back to the days of awkward and uncertain junior high social interactions. What if she says no?! I promise, it’s not as terrible as it sounds. Also, keep in mind that other mamas often feel just as awkward and uncertain as you do, so take some solace in that.

So, here we go…

How to SCORE A DATE (and subsequent dates) With Mom Friends:

How to Make Mom Friends Without Being Awkward // Part 3 of a 3 Part Series @ The Little Things We Do

1. (read: the only rule you need) Be the initiator

Duh…obvious, but in order to score a date with this mama you’re digging, you’re going to have to ask her out – this part is a given. The good news is that your kid is the ultimate wingman. A little “Hey! We’re going to the children’s museum on next Thursday and we have a pass to get friends in too. Would you guys wanna join us?” Easy. If she happens to have plans that day, you can ask for her number/e-mail/friend her on IG to make plans for the future. I think many mamas make the mistake of waiting for an invite from another mama. NO! Don’t do that. She might be waiting for you to make the first move too. Just go for it. The worst that can happen is you get denied and then? Well, there are always other fish in the sea. This initiator thing is also an overarching theme for making mama friends in general. Instead of waiting around for these friendships to be forged, be the initiator! Start a moms group or a book club. Invite people to library story time. The more often you do this, the better you’ll get at it, so just keep putting yourself out there.

HOW TO SCORE MORE DATES:

1. Give a follow-up text

Always ALWAYS give a follow-up text. After you meet, if you exchanged numbers, just send a little text that says, “Nice meeting you today! Hope we can get together for a play date soon!” I also like following up with a text after a good many of my mama friend hangs, because nothing says, “Hey! I like you! We should do this more often!” than a follow-up text saying you had fun.

2. Plan a non-kid date

After you’ve had a play date or two and felt each other out a bit, invite this mama out for a non-kid date. Post-bedtime is ideal. One of my friends and I loved going out for late night happy hour when our babies were little. After they were in bed we could relax and not feel as rushed. Play dates are great, but if you want a real friendship, you’re going to have to get to know that person in a one-on-one setting. Truly getting to know someone while kids are running around screaming and asking you for stuff isn’t exactly super effective. A non-kid date will create a great opportunity for you to bond and connect over other important non-kid stuff.

3. Put in the effort

Moms are busy. We all know that, because we ARE moms. Sometimes I suck at following up with friends. Sometimes I’ll go months without texting some of my favorite people. It’s not because I don’t like them or want to hang, it’s just that sometimes the days become busy and overwhelming and I forget. I always appreciate friends who go out of their way to let me know they’re thinking of me. Texting is a simple and obvious way. Send a quick text with a funny blurb about the ridiculousness of your day and ask how theirs is going. If she says she’s having a rough one, tell her you’d love to drop off some coffee or a treat. Invite her along on your late-night Target run. All of these little things are the glue by which the greatest mama friendships are formed (especially the Target part, because nothing bonds quite like a shared love of that red and white bullseye).

Making mom friends isn’t the easiest, but it’s so worth it. Finding that mama tribe (of many or few) will make navigating the challenging and unpredictable waters of motherhood so much better. Knowing that you aren’t going it along and that you have your people in your corner…cheering you on and encouraging you is a beautiful gift.

Now go forth and make friends! You can do it!

Love,

Lauren

 

Comments

  1. Lauren says:

    This is the story of my life! Lol! Thanks for posting and knowing I’m not alone. I wish I had more mom friends. I’ve said to my husband that maybe I came on too strong with other moms in the past. I guess we didn’t click? So I’ve just stopped trying but like you said, there’s other fish in the sea!

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