marriage: making it work #2.

Fill in the blank:

“The best thing about marriage is_________.”

That could be a rather long list after all these years and the answer to that question has frankly changed along the way. Having the fellowship and companionship of a spouse who has made a covenant with you and God that no matter what life brings….they are still ‘all in’ no matter what happens…leads to trust within the marriage relationship. Even in the most challenging times of our marriage (and yes…there have been a few) divorce was never an option in our minds, EVER! Our commitment to God first and then each other sustained us through the difficult times which are inevitable in every marriage. We’ve always felt it important to put Christ first in our lives and in our marriage.

Fill in the blank:

“The most challenging thing about marriage is_________.”

That has changed over the years too! The obvious is that men and women are so different!! Then take family backgrounds, cultural differences, personal likes & dislikes….it can be overwhelming to new marrieds and is something that takes patience, practice and a lot of communication and compromise. We have learned and experienced the great value that premarital mentoring can have in preparing couples for marriage. Not that we have all the answers or have it all figured out, but after 28 years of marriage and lots of friends with similar years, we have learned a thing or two that we can share with other couples.

Fill in the blank:

“My favorite thing about my spouse is_________.”

Lisbeth: My favorite thing about Don is that he loves God with all of his being. He is still so on fire for Christ like the first time I met him and even more so. I couldn’t have dreamed of a better loving husband and wonderful father for our daughter. I feel truly blessed to wake up with him by my side. His strong, broad shoulders still melt my heart and when he holds me, I feel safe from the world. (Awwwww!)

Don: I love Lisbeth’s beautiful green eyes, lovely curly hair and sweet compassionate nature combined with a strong sense of self. She is a wonderful mother, loves Jesus, loves her family and Danish heritage. All this combined makes her perfect for me.

What’s your secret to a happy

marriage and making it work?

It’s not as much about finding the right person as much as being the right person. Of course it’s important to marry someone you are attracted to, but it’s also very important to meet each other’s needs. For example; her need for love and his need for respect, each other’s sexual needs (which are very different so talk about what they are so expectations aren’t a surprise), and the list goes on…..and on….. Remember…love is a verb, not a feeling. It is important to remember that your feelings will change. We know it doesn’t seem like that when you are young and in-love, but as a Christ follower, love is a commitment and covenant before God. It’s more about what you do, than what you feel. Too often couples question their marriage when they no longer sense that new feeling of being “in-love”. This is where actions and commitment take over and support the marriage when feelings are not enough to support it. It’s also important to continue pursuing each other, dating each other, talking about dreams and expectations, and just how your day was. Finally, without making this sound overly simple…it’s important to treat each other the way you would want to be treated and think of each others needs above your own.

Thanks you two

love birds!