I’ve been thinking about life lately. About how when you’re young, the world is your oyster and life is full of possibilities. You dream of becoming an astronaut or a ballerina or a panda bear or President of the United States and nothing about that seems unrealistic or unachievable.
Then you get a little older and you start noticing that other people do things a certain way and you start feeling like maybe you should be doing things that way too. As you start putting the pieces together you deduce that the “perfect life” requires a college education, a happy marriage, 2.5 kids and a dream home in the suburbs – all on a very strict timeline.
So you start pursuing these things. You go to college – get a practical degree, because everyone around you tells you that what you really want to do won’t pay the bills. The years tick by and you start to feel like everyone around you has their life falling into place, but you’re not quite there. You begin to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you’re getting left behind on the path of life.
you’re right when you say you’re not the only one that thinks like that! I think like that all the time.. and more so lately.
I hate it when everything seems ok and then you read about how someone had something amazing happen to them and it’s really not happening for you.
But like you said, you just have to be happy with where you are and trust that God’s got it all worked out!
🙂 glad someone else thinks the same things I do..
I love this blog post! I am a control freak, and lately have been feeling down about my life just not being where it “should” be. I need to take your quote to heart, because really, I have a great life: a wonderful husband, a roof over my head, and money in the bank. I am very blessed, regardless of whether my plan worked out exactly as I intended or not. Thanks for that reminder.
I am thankful that my younger brother who was diagnosed with cancer two yrs ago recovered well and is moving on with his life. I feel like I can now do the same.
Jen
I’ve been feeling that way these days, and this post has opened my eyes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
I think you’re right!! Who needs plans?
You made my day!!
I’m sure most people feel this way at some point in their lives. I also think that facebook and blogs make it worse – everyone puts their very best out on display, and so it can be difficult not to make comparisons, even though there’s so much more going on behind the scenes that doesn’t get shared. I have to remind myself to focus on my own life. Sounds like you’re doing pretty well to me.
I can totally relate you. I was comparing myself with others. I hated doing it because I felt it said I hated my life. Then, I stopped comparing myself with others and reading Facebook. Instead, I focused on myself and appreciated what I have. In short, life is not about the stuff you buy. At the end of day, it is whether you have many stories to tell. Also, you do not have to be a person society expects you to act and others imagine about you. Be who you are. Lauren, you have wonderful talents. I like reading real who you are. Thank you for sharing this wonderful quote. I love it!
SUCH a true quote. That kind of just happened to me and I was forced to see life that way, but it’s been for the best. Going with the flow is the best thing you can do for yourself!
I just cried. I’ve never really known what I want in life. Right after high school graduation day, I decided that I wanted to be an English teacher, so here I am today, studying English education in a university. But lately I’ve been feeling so sick of all these course designs, mini research, school observation, books chapter report, and yada yada yada… Is this what I really want? Do I really want to face these things for the rest of my life? I don’t think so.
I guess I just want to get married, have three sweet children, and be a stay-at-home mom. But I’m still stuck in this classroom.
I really love this quote, and I feel the same way. Right now everyone on facebook is posting about how they can’t believe they’ll be a college graduate in 3 months. I think, ‘oh awesome, I still have like 3 years.” But, then I remember that my most recent facebook status was about how I couldn’t believe I had been in 3 countries in one day! And maybe people are jealous of that 🙂 You just have to remember that people only post and blog about the good in their life…most of the time. And everything WILL fall together for you. I have to remind myself of that a lot but it’s worth it. Letting go of you “dream life” or what you had “planned” is scary, but it’s equally as wonderful to see what’s in store. Definitely saving this quote 🙂 Thanks!
This loudly echoes thoughts from my own head. I’m always working hard, and wondering when is it going to be my turn for everything to fall in place? But then I look around and take stock of what I have accomplished and the many things that already have fallen in place for me – ie: falling in love with a brilliant man who gets me – I realize I’m doing pretty damn good. I dream of having kids, but I’m coming to terms with the idea that they’ll come when they and we are ready for them. And by then, hopefully I’ll be wiser, more monetarily stable, and better able to care for them well.
I really needed this post. My life completely fell apart last year. Last year I lost my marriage and I lost going to my dream school for a great graduate program, I lost the ability to live in my dream city, and I even lost a really good job. I literally had to start over from the ground up with nothing. I’m still in the process of trying to rebuild a life for myself…. I guess there are other plans and new directions in store for me. I’m working on being open towards what those plans might be.
Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement, Lauren! It was very much appreciated and needed. <3
Thank you for posting so honestly, Lauren. It’s so true and just be assured that you are not alone in thinking like this. I too, suffer from over-planning-syndrome and it’s so important for me to reflect on how my life is in God’s hands and how I thankfully, don’t have to have every single second planned out. He will decide when/if I have babies and in the mean time I get to enjoy being young. Being thankful for what you have is so hard when you compare it to what others have. So thank you for your thoughtful words!
AMEN! Seriously this speaks to me… I have been feeling like that for a while, you feel stuck….
Love that quote!
Have a great day, C.
This is just what I needed to hear. I’m in that same place. 24, college degree, & still no job. But my life is not my own, so I might as well get over that & surrender my thoughts of having a plan.
Nothing is going according to my plan right now. And I also struggle with comparing myself to others and wondering why my life doesn’t yet look like theirs. It is a constant struggle. But I agree with you. Who needs the plan?
And I am thankful for two days off work in the middle of the week.
I am a huge planner as well Lauren and so it’s hard for me to let go of all the plans I have. However, I know that all my planning can drive me crazy and make me compare my life to other people’s lives. I’d love to let go and just LIVE.
oh i love this! my mom has always told me that there is a plan but we’re just not the ones making it! trust that. you’re not alone. i believe everyone feels like this at some point. i think it’s important to be true to who you are and love the people you’re with and everything will figure out a way even if it isn’t the way you planned!
I’ve learned, since having a child, not having a degree, and still living in a small, stuffy, one bedroom apartment, that life isn’t about “the plan”. To me, it’s more about how I handle not having a plan. Both Pieter and I work, not our dream job, and rarely have time to see each other, but we get to come home to our wonderful little girl. We get to share our love with her. That’s what I’m most thankful for today. We work hard to make it work.
I love this post. I feel that everyone feels this but doesn’t say it. It’s so hard NOT to compare to others when it’s easy to see what others are doing via Facebook.
This is a great way to look at life and I really love the quote “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell”
Thank you for a great start to the day!
-Kate
I’m with you all the way lady!!! This post is great and is a real eye opener. I am a bit older than you and believe me, I feel pressure everyday and also at times, some unhappiness.
Yes, I would like a bigger house, I would like a job I love that pays well and yes, I would like a baby but I guess at this point in my life, it’s not in my cards. Am I going to sulk over it??? No. I am going to live my life the way it’s suppose to be. The one thing I can control is to find a job that I enjoy (and pays well), this will lead to a bigger house and then maybe, just maybe…a baby or two. Twins would be ideal.
I am glad you are not thinking that you have to conform to what everyone is doing. People see what others have and where they are in life and feel like they need to catch up or be on the same level. Life isn’t all about that, there is more to it and we should really enjoy what we have at the moment.
To get straight to the point…ditto, ditto, ditto. This is definitely something I’ve been battling the last couple of months (heck, let’s be honest…years). But my thoughts are, if you’re ever going to be thankful for the big things later in life, you have to be thankful for the small things that are the right now of our lives. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Agreed! Whenever I compare myself to others, the result is never good. Today I’m thankful for the sunshine outside!
Lovely post, friend. I agree that it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap and I struggle with that, too. But I have to remember that each person’s life is their own and no two people will go through life at the same pace. Someone recently reminded me that we’re all purposed to glorify God in our own unique way. And if that means you glorify God by being a preschool teacher and amazing wife with an adorable blog, then embrace it and know there’s so much more to come. God has every future thing in His control and what more assurance can we ask for than that?
Love you and praying for you today,
Dana.
I had some freak out moments last spring when I was getting near college graduation without a job and without a boyfriend (therefore, no prospect of getting married). I recently saw this video of a poetess’ choice to serve the God of Time. It’s so inspiring, please watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs
This is such a great post! I’m a total planner too. I’m trying to stop and have less lists/notebook/post-its around the house. I keep remember that everything happens at the right time. No need to worry about it! Life flows so much better without a timeline.
Thanks for the quote! I’ll keep that in mind 🙂
xoxo, Ana
My (Newlywed) Life
That is a great quote. When we first got married we were both totally down on ourselves. My husband got laid off and started working construction. I was assistant manager at a retail store because I couldn’t find a design job. We both hated where we were working and we lived in a tiny house that needed completely remodeled. We didn’t have floors for over a year or places to sit. We ate dinner sitting in our camping chairs. It felt like a total mess at the time, but it all got better. I wish we had followed your new motto back then. Things wouldn’t have been so hard for us.
Aw, Lauren. I understand this sentiment so well. It’s one of the plights of being in your twenties – your really in between (between being a carefree youthful student and a grounded practical adult).
I find myself wondering a lot lately “what will become of my life” … and I get so down thinking that the things that I wish for myself aren’t going to come true.
Thanks for reminding me how important it is to praise, and to be greatful for what I have now.
We have to have faith. Whatever it is we want, we are (somehow) working towards it. Even though we can’t forsee how we will get there.
and, for what it’s worth – I am always impressed by the way you live your live. You’ve found love (what all of us are searching for), a fulfilling way to pay the bills, and a creative outlet (and not just any, working with Lisa is so cool!)
I’m so glad you posted this. It made me take a step back and realize what my boyfriend and I have! We’ve lived together with our dog for over a year now and I recently was feeling like all my friends are getting married and having babies and I was starting to resent him because I felt like we should be getting married and having babies too because “my plan” said that that’s what I wanted in a year or two. Well screw the plan and just enjoy and don’t take for granted what you have! Right!? Thank you so much for helping me realize that I do have a great life with my boyfriend and couples make their own rules!
Oooooooh yes! Couldn’t agree more. xoxo
You’re not alone. I’ll finish law school this year and all I think is… so um, this is IT? I went to law school because of the practicality. I suppose being a singer at a small jazzy nightclub would fit your “doesn’t pay the bills” description.
The good news is that we’ve at least recognized why we’ve made the decisions we’ve made. And I have a very strong suspicion that many people act like they have it together more than they do. But the only “plan” I have from now on is just to be happy in the moment I’m in. Everything else, well… it doesn’t really matter.
Jackie
http://tofindtheline.blogspot.com/
Amen to this post! I feel like I’ve always been on an opposite timeline from the people around me in my life Lately, I’ve just told God that I’m putting my life and relationships and walking on the plan that he puts before me, because it gets too hard to try and plan it yourself and fight when things don’t go according to plan. I love that quote!
This was such a relief to read. Thank you so much for posting it!
xo,
Catriona
Make your own plans! Ignore all those updates from various social networks and do what you feel is right!
This is my favorite way of coping with all the pregnant status updates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8
Grass is always greener on the other side 🙂
i love this post. i can totally relate lauren… and that quote? i love that too. i am glad i am not the only one who feels this way. i hope you know how awesome i think you are … i really do. i love you and hope you haev a great day!
It is soo odd that you posted this today…this is something I’ve been struggling with to an extreme lately. It was so nice to know that others feel this way & even though I’m still struggling with letting go & some life decisions, this was a big inspiration. Thank you so much for reminding me that it’s okay if you’re life doesn’t go in the same direction as everyone else’s!
It’s nice seeing that others get put in this same boat of expectation and comparison. Just about everyone around me is married, married with all the kids out of the way, or married and having kids, where I’m single(albeit w/my boyfriend). I grew up around everyone getting married and starting “that life” as early as 18. It’s hard not to think how far ‘behind’ I am in that aspect of life.
But I’m happy! Just like you said, I can sleep in whenever I want. I can have ice cream for dinner and do/go without a thought. I’m thankful with where I am and where God has me.
Sometimes I have to be reminded of it…so thank you! 🙂
Oh, this made me tear up a little. I keep feeling like things aren’t working out the way I want them to. I am happily married with an adorable cat– but my darling hubby is in a crappy job situation, and it turns out having a baby isn’t the easiest thing ever.
I am going to take deep breaths, and maybe hang that quote on our bathroom mirror.
i love you and your blog to pieces! i couldn’t agree more. i just realized that i’ll be graduating college in a month. and i’m 26. and married. i didn’t like the school path i did when i was “supposed to” be in in college, and i love that by doing school on my own schedule, i managed to find a fun job teaching piano lessons to kiddos, on top of my practical social work degree. i’ve recently started selling yummy baked goods, and have dreams of making those and being a piano lady as a “career”!
i also love not having kids! we’ve almost been married for two years, and i have no desire to have kiddos anytime soon. i love weekend fun, and road trips, and a ton of other things i know i wouldn’t be able to do if we had kiddos that aren’t furry (cause we have a ton of those!)
so, in a nutshell? i agree tenfold!
xo.anna marie
I often feel this way about life! I’m almost 30, still single, and not “established” in any sort of career. I own a used car, rent a flat, and live by myself with my cat. I find it hard not to compare myself with people who have what I thought I’d have by now….like you. But then I remind myself of all the reasons I’m not there yet. I spent years traveling. And as much of a planner as I am, I also agree. Who needs plans?
I love this post Lauren! I’m glad you are able to see the blessings in your life even though they aren’t the blessings you asked for at the time you asked for them. I used to feel this way a lot, but lately I’ve just been really content. Whenever I want something really bad like a house or a baby, I just start talking myself out of why it would be a good thing. And then I realize that at this point in my life, there are more cons than pros as far as babies are concerned and that finding our dream home will probably put us in a money pit! I’m holding onto things more loosely!
I couldn’t agree more! It’s hard to not get discouraged but really we can’t plan for life! I’m trying to make it through these next few months without too much anxiety, because planning for a job is just out of my control.
I think it’s really important to be grateful for what we have, I may not know if I’m studying the right thing, but at least I’m graduating from college!
I have been feeling the exact same way for the past two years… thinking “when is it going to be my turn?”
I see all my friends around me getting married, buying houses, having kids… If you had asked me where I would be today five years ago, I wouldn’t have even imagined I would say single, alone, and childless…
It’s hard to let go of the idea of having a life plan… I am a big planner, mostly because I like to feel that I have control of my life… I have been trying to go with the flow, and be happy with what I have, everything else, like you said, just needs to fall into place… hopefully sometime soon!
Chin up, be happy… *hugs*
Beautifully written and I love that quote. I may have to put that one in my wallet. When you stop looking for it to fall into place it will begin to happen. Enjoy each moment.
I agree…
its it hard to not get caught up in the success of other people. This book helped me last summer. I makes you write out you plans and think differently about your situation.Good luck- Kym
http://www.amazon.com/20-Something-20-Everything-Quarter-life-Balance-Direction/dp/157731476X
I like this post. I didn’t read all of the comments (holy, comments!) but I feel the same way. Why am I 32 and in school?? Shouldn’t I have a career by now? It makes me feel like such a loser sometimes. And then I try to think of all the things I DO have, and I know that I am really pretty lucky. A wise woman told me that your 20s are for trying out everything, your 30s are for figuring out what you really want to do with your life and your 40s are for doing it 🙂 And I am sure that doesn’t fit for everyone either.
Yes, i definitely relate. All the time! Most of my friends went straight to college, made good grades, graduated, got a great job, bought a house & got married – all by age 25! I am a college dropout (i just couldn’t do it!), i do not have my dream job (i wonder now why i didn’t just stick with college!) & didn’t find my true love until i was 29.
Though i do still have a couple of regrets as far as career/college, i am madly in love with a wonderful person & love that i was single in my 20’s. And though i wish we could afford a house, i am thankful for where we are now.
I LOVE THAT QUOTE! 🙂 Thanks!
amen lady! i feel the exact same way. thank you for this! i needed to read i’m not the only one.
Love that quote! I totally understand where you are coming from, and I have been struggling with this lately as well. It is hard when things don’t always happen when we want them to happen (especially being a big planner), but you just have to trust that they will when the time is right.
I just recently received some encouraging words in an email that I posted here: http://www.candidd.com/2011/03/just-be.html
It sure is nice to know other people are feeling the same way. Take care!
I’m late on this comment, because I am behind on my blog reading. All this because I DO have a baby and I am heavily involved at work, due to a promotion. Let me tell you, I am not bragging, my little butt is WORN OUT. I also, did what I thought I was supposed to do, in the order that I was supposed to do it in. I am a planner. I cannot take chaos. I avoided Facebook until this week, no lie, because I knew it was an unhealthy place for me. Always comparing my life to others. I love my son, but I wish I could sleep in on Saturday and not have to arrange my weekend night outs around naps and meltdowns. YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT, WE NEED TO BE THANKFUL FOR THE LIFE WE HAVE… AND I AM THANKFUL FOR NOT BEING ALONE IN THESE FEELINGS. Have a great weekend… while you sleep in and don’t have to hire a babysitter to have a girl’s night out with wine. => I love your Friday Fill-In’s.
Late to the game, I can’t seem to comment on the “on page comment boxes” while I’m at work.. 🙁
Anyways, maybe I can be one of the friends who makes you feel better about yourself?? 😀
I don’t have a career, up until Feb I was temping for the most part… my degree is a pretty piece of paper that is on a wall at my mum’s… I don’t have a house… I lived in a hostel for a year last year! I’m not married.. never have been.. I currently rent a flat with my mister of 6 months..
I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.. or even where I want to live! Tho I believe that you are exactly where you need to be at the time you need to be there.. (well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)
I’m sure it’ll all work out, coz somehow it always does… (ok.. it’s well past my bedtime and I’m rambling…) I hope some of that made sense.. you’re not the only one who feels “lost” sometimes on the path of life.. but hey… take the time to enjoy the scenery while you’re there!! xx
I’m a new reader to your blog and have been enjoying it very much. I also live in Oregon (Hood River) and love many of the same foodie spots as you. 🙂 I meant to respond to this post when you posted it but, I have a newborn bb and, well, a few days got away from me. Anyway… I loved this post. Although I am married, with a new house and a new baby girl, that doesn’t mean that I’m on the right track, or that my life is perfect even though it’s what we ladies seem to “plan for” starting at age 12! I actually wasn’t sure I wanted this. I fought buying a house. I agonized about having baby. I have a part time job (no career) and we all have dreams that are left unachieved or are still in the works. I started my blog when I was feeling a bit out of sorts, not sure of my direction and “letting go of the life I’d planned”. From the looks of your blog, you are beautiful, creative and passionate with a fabulous sense of style. Live it up!
-Kacie
If you want to check out my blog…. you can read my manifesto from my first post here:
http://acollectionofpassions.blogspot.com/search/label/First%20Post
Or… just see what’s up now here: http://www.acollectionofpassions.blogspot.com/
I quit planning years ago (after a stellar disappointment) and have enjoyed the adventure ever since. I never could have planned the life I live, but I love every crazy bit of it. It goes “beyond normal” in so many ways, but I find joy and freedom in taking life a step at a time.