It’s funny how things change after you have kids.
There are some things you just kind of expect to change…things like being able to buy dry-clean only shirts and having dinner at nice restaurants where there are no crayons or kids menus in sight… Some of the other things have kind of taken me by surprise though.
One surprise? The romance department.
Have you guys read The Five Love Languages? I highly recommend it, but the basic gist is this: we all experience love in different ways and it’s important to learn to “speak each other’s language” when it comes to love. According to the book, these are the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. For so long I found myself doing romantic gestures for Craig that he could’ve cared less about. It’s not that he was unappreciative, but I just wasn’t speaking his language.
Before becoming a parent, my love language was Quality Time. But recently I had a feeling it was changing so I took the quiz to see if my suspicions were confirmed. The results? My primary love language is still Quality Time, but in a close second…Acts of Service, which was what I had suspected.
Before becoming a parent, Acts of Service didn’t really woo me all that much. Sure, it was nice when Craig would do the laundry or wash some windows, but it didn’t exactly make me feel smitten or anything. Post-parenthood? I can honestly say that there are few things more romantic than coming home to an empty sink because your man just washed dishes, or when he jumps in to take over dinner duty.
Just the other night I went out to coffee with a friend and when I came home and this is what I came home to…
A clean kitchen, a toddler sleeping soundly in her bed and a fresh bag of my favorite decaf for me to enjoy in the form of an iced mocha made by my husband come morning. It was enough to make me want to jump him right there in the kitchen. TMI? Maybe. But seriously…there’s pretty much nothing sexier than a clean kitchen that I didn’t have to clean myself.
Who knew doing dishes could count as foreplay?
I told you…being a parent changes you.
Love and clean kitchen romance,
Lauren
Amen! And thanks for the reminder that I need to check in and see if I am still speaking my husband’s love language, too!
I couldn’t agree more! When you’re busy with a toddler, there’s not much that makes you happier than having a little less on your plate to worry about. Especially when it comes to cleaning. And coffee.
I totally hear ya! There is just so much that needs to be done all the time that romance just kind of takes a back burner & I hate that!
But you know what, if my hubby cleaned the kitchen, I would probably want to jump him too! 😉
Love htis. This post screams “me.” My pre-marital Love Language was Quality Time (with Physical Touch as a close second) and now, post baby – ACTS OF SERVICE, please!! Who would have ever thought I would swoon over an empty sink, the running dishwasher, and/or a fed baby?? I do need to check in on the hubby’s love language and make sure his hasn’t changed, too 🙂 THANK YOU!
Thanks for this! I adore when my husband does acts of service, although I recently read an article talking about the fact that there are certain “acts” they’d rather their partner do — like, child-related (your putting the toddler to bed thing would count here), although I prefer household chores to when he buys the local coffee that we like “because it was on sale.” (That makes him sound more like his mother. ;-)) I guess no matter what, I should appreciate it ALL more! 😉
I absolutely agree! I think before marriage my love languages were words and quality time, but now that we have two little kids I appreciate acts of service so much more than I ever did before!
yes…if my hubs makes the bed, cleans the kitchen or does anything (except laundry…he always screws up laundry) that i normally would do…total turn on!
You are speaking the truth! I don’t have a kid (outside the womb, that is) but every since pregnancy reared its beautiful and ugly head, I have found that acts of service of infinitely sexier than they ever were before. Hooray for sweet husbands!
I can totally relate! Kiddos are a game changer in so many departments!!! And when my man cleans the kitchen, that really is appreciated!
Mine has changed as well. I DO get a little confused by the quiz though. Sometimes the way things are worded I choose one because my husband already does the other so if it say “I wish my husband encouraged me more” and he already does that then I might select the other one even though the thing he already does is really important to me. Not sure if that made sense AT ALL!