Valentine’s Week: #ChooseLoveChallenge

I love marriage.

I mean…there are definitely challenges and I don’t always love every moment of marriage, but marriage as the beautiful sacred covenant that it is? That’s what I love. I love to read about it, talk about it and I really love finding ways to make it better.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle or every day life once you’ve been in a marriage for awhile, and even more so once you’ve added kids to the mix. Putting the time, effort and thoughtfulness into a marriage can often fall down on the list of priorities. I know it happens for me. So, I decided to own the upcoming week of Valentine’s Day as a time to focus intentionally on my marriage and to find ways each day to choose to love my husband.

And then I thought…maybe other people might want to join in on this and put a little extra TLC into their marriages as well. So, I did what any social media addicted blogger would do, and created an Instagram challenge out of it – complete with hashtag (#chooselovechallenge).

Valentine's Week: #ChooseLoveChallenge // @ The Little Things We Do

So, here’s the deal…the challenge will last for seven days (Monday 2/9 through Sunday 2/15) and each day there will be a new challenge. You can do these challenges on the sly without joining in on the discussion or hashtag, or you can tag up some of your related photos (think: photos of date nights, fun gifts, etc…). You don’t have to post about it every day and you don’t have to do the challenges on the specified days. Mix the days around to fit your needs and schedule! This is meant to be flexible and fun, but above all, it’s meant to give you an excuse to focus in on your marriage.

Also, while these challenges are written in a way that is directed at women (because, hello 95% female readership!), men can absolutely join in on this challenge and use these as ways to love their wives as well. It’s all about finding little ways to choose love on the daily (inspired by this post I wrote in case you haven’t read it yet) and anyone is welcome to take part in that!

So, here are all the challenges laid out for you ahead of time so you can get planning for next week!

Valentine’s Week: #ChooseLoveChallenge

Day 1: Start the day off right.

Start this week and this challenge off right, by starting the first day off right. Mornings can set the entire tone for one’s day, so why not help set the tone for your husband’s day? We have the power to encourage our spouses and give them the confidence to take on their day, so think about how you can be more intentional in helping to start the day off right. Snuggle up next to him when the alarm goes off, or sneak in to join him for his morning shower. Leave him a note on the bathroom mirror to wake up to or get up and make him coffee…or breakfast…or lunch. Hide a note in his briefcase or wallet or coat pocket. Or, you know…I’m pretty sure most husbands wouldn’t turn down some morning quickie action. Just sayin’.

Day 2: Write your spouse a love letter

Sure, you probably send your spouse lovey dovey texts from time to time, but how often do you actually sit down to write a good old fashioned love letter these days? You know…the kind that goes on for a couple of pages and is rich with detail about all of the things you love about the one your with. Today’s challenge is to write a letter like that. Think about all the things you really love appreciate and respect about your husband (or wife) and write them out. Be as specific as possible. The bonus is that in addition to encouraging your love, the act of writing these things out will probably be a good reminder for you and stir up some warm, fuzzy feelings along the way.

Day 3: Try something new and/or spontaneous

This doesn’t have to be anything super earth shattering. We tend to be super lazy and boring on weeknights and once the kids are in bed we usually just zone out to some TV. Instead of falling back into our usual routine here are a few fun ideas we might try…

*Ditch the TV and play a board game…or 20 questions…or truth or dare. It can be silly and ridiculous.

*Build a fort in the living room and watch a movie (we would probably just cheat and use our kid’s teepee.

*Make a fancy dessert and enjoy it together…maybe banana splits or chocolate fondue in that fondue pot you got as a wedding present and used approximately once…oh wait…maybe that’s just us.

*Turn on some music and dance in the kitchen.

*Have a picnic dinner in the living room.

*Do it in the kitchen…or you know…wherever you feel so led. Somewhere other than the bedroom. Bonus points to whoever boot knocks in the back of their minivan. Sadly we don’t have one, or I’d be all over that.

Basically do something you probably wouldn’t think to do now that your married…the kind of thing you probably would’ve done back in the days when you were still actively trying to woo one another. Whatever that thing is…do it!

Day 4: Invest in a “marriage aid”

You can be as kinky or as tame as you want with this one. I’ll leave the kinky stuff up to you, but a few ideas on the more tame side might be: pretty underpinnings (or at least – for the love of all things holy – not a nude, cotton, nursing bra), a romantic smelling new perfume, candles, massage oils, sexy new boot knocking tunes…it all depends on what you and your husband are into. You can choose to use this today, or save it for an end of the week challenge celebration, or whatever.

Day 5: Foreplay

I’m sure you’re probably reading today’s challenge and thinking…“Foreplay? Ummm…duh.” But, I don’t just mean the usual 20 minutes (if you’re lucky…and not too freaking exhausted) of preliminaries right before you do the deed, I’m talking about foreplay all. day. long. I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember the last time I really thought about sex more than like 20 minutes before it was going to happen – and let’s be real, it’s usually way less time than that. In the midst of the daily chaos of errands and making meals and keeping children alive, sex (and/or thinking about sex) is pretty low on the priority list. And for us as women (as you obviously know), it takes a bit longer to get into “sexy mode” when our mind is racing a million miles an hour. So, today I want you to think about sex…it is your end game…so do whatever you need to do to get there. Wake him up with an intentional caress, send some flirty texts throughout the day (…or a racy snapchat!). Go out of your way to kiss and touch while you’re making dinner…shoot him knowing glances. BUT…no getting down to business right away. Prolong everything…draw it out…just like in the good ‘ol days. Make today a good old fashioned seduction and bring your A-game. All the anticipation will make the day’s conclusion that much better.

Day 6Date night

Having date nights is so, SO important. Ideally a date night would mean getting out of the house and doing something fun together, but if you have kids and/or a limited budget date nights might be a little harder to come by. BUT…it doesn’t make them any less important! So, if you can’t go out, stay in! Maybe get dressed up just like you would for a date and have dinner after the kids are in bed, and then later, have your own drive in movie in your driveway with your laptop (you’ll feel like you left the house, but you can still bring along the baby monitor if you need to). One of our favorite “mini dates” is making cocktails and relaxing in our hot tub (thanks Craigslist free section!) after the kids are in bed. We take the baby monitor with us, but we just get to unwind and enjoy each other’s company. Get creative with your date night! And regardless of whether or not you go out or stay in, make sure you choose an activity that is conducive to good conversation!

Day 7Spend the day speaking his love language

Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the concept of The Five Love Languages, but the premise is that we all experience love in different ways. The five love languages are: Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service. The idea is that people feel loved most when it is demonstrated in one of these ways. My love language is Quality Time, but Acts of Service is a close second. You can take the quiz here to find out yours and learn more about what they are, but you don’t have to in order to do today’s challenge. Basically, just make a list of things you know your husband likes or that you think he would appreciate and then try to do as many of the things on that list as you have time for. A few things I know my husband would love…if I did my hair and makeup and wore a dress or heels, or something different than the usual jeans and a baggy sweater. If I made him a dinner he really loves…probably something not-so-healthy that requires extra effort like lasagna. A small, but thoughtful gift, like a hard-to-find microbrew. And, I know he would pretty much die of happiness (and shock) if I ever made him baked goods since I SUPER hate baking. Today is about the little things, so make them count and end your challenge with a bang!

 

So there you go…7 days of chances to choose love. I would love to see/hear how the challenge is going, so if you are joining in, feel free to tag any related photos on Instagram (I’m @thelittlethingswedo over there in case you aren’t following me yet) with the hashtag: #chooselovechallenge. Obviously, I wouldn’t encourage you to share your Day 5 foreplay photos, but photos of fun dates or thoughtful gestures would be awesome, since I’m sure we could all use more ideas!

Be sure to check in and tell me how the challenge is going!

Good luck friends!

Love,

Lauren

Comments

  1. i love this idea! I have two littles around the age of yours, and the baby never sleeps, so I’ve been a little prickly. I laughed out loud at the nursing bra comment. I never wear anything else! Thanks for sharing this. I’ll definitely be joining in the fun.

  2. I love this!! I’m up for the challenge!! #chooselovechallenge

  3. I really like the ideas!
    THE PINK ELEPHANT SHOE | FACEBOOK

  4. Great idea Lauren!! This challenge is going to be fun! For us I would say we are very much in love we always reach for a hand, a hug, a kiss etc, we don’t watch tv Monday-Thursday, and every Friday we have an in-home date night. So my big thing is going to be about being more fun/creative and maybe by some miracle getting us out for a real date night (I’d be happy with a day date at this point)!

  5. I love this!!! It is super motivating to have set things to do rather than just think “I’ll try to be more intentional this week” …. SO looking forward to blessing my husband in tangible ways with this challenge.. thanks Lauren!

  6. Do you have suggestions about making this a two-way street? This just really seems like the “choose your husband” challenge, not a mutual relationship. Like, I love the idea of intentionally working on these things, but this just seems so one-sided 🙁

    • @Alex – I said in the post that husbands could totally do the things in this challenge as well (which I specifically pointed out in my post), but the post is written towards wives for a couple of reasons…1) My readership is 95% (+) women, so writing to men doesn’t make much sense. 2) I only know how to be a wife…I don’t know how to be a husband, so the things I write are from that perspective. 3) In any relationship, the only person you can change and better is yourself. If you’re waiting around for the other person to be more loving first, you might wait forever. The idea is to be selfless and loving without expecting anything in return…but honestly, if you are being loving to your partner, there’s a pretty high likelihood he’s going to reciprocate. I don’t think women need to be doing all the work in a relationship by any means…a good marriage is absolutely a 2-way street. But, you can’t control your husband’s actions. Only your own. So, I choose to just give as much love and care as I can…and he does the same in turn. It’s a natural cycle. And plenty of times he’s way more thoughtful and shows me more loving gestures than I do for him. Relationships are an ebb and flow.

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  1. […] was the case after this post about Choosing My Husband Daily and the Choose Love Challenge I hosted. The point of these posts was to encourage intentionality in marriage…finding […]

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