On the Eve of Your First Day of Kindergarten

To my dear sweet girl on your very first day of school,

Welcome to the wonderful world of kindergarten! I knew this day would come, but for some reason it always seemed so far off. I know it’s such a cliche, but  it truly does seem like only yesterday that you were a tiny baby in my arms. But now, here we are – you asleep in your bed and me typing away, tears welling up, lump in my throat as I try to explain how monumental this all feels.

On the Eve of Your First Day of Kindergarten

I know that you are ready even though my heart isn’t quite there yet. Even though I’ve had you all to myself for five-and-a-half years, it suddenly doesn’t seem like enough. I keep wishing for another year/month/week…even day. But I know that it would still never feel like enough. Now is the time for me to let you spread your wings and fly.

There are going to be so many wonderful things out there for you in the world away from our home. I know for now you are only just up the road at school, but it is the first baby step toward going out into the rest of the world. There will be new friends and so many new things to learn. Your brain will be exploding with all the interesting things you will be learning every day and I can’t wait to see it all unfold. I’d be lying though if I said I didn’t have any anxieties about it.

We will certainly miss having you around here during the day (especially your little brother and sister!) to be sure, but I think more than that, I feel more than a bit heartsick with worry over the thought that the little person you are is now going to be shaped by people other than us. Right now you are 100% who you are. You like the things you like just because you genuinely like them and not because someone else told you they were cool. You do silly dances and sing with wild abandon and without fear of teasing. You hold my hand at the grocery store and think your siblings are the coolest things since sliced bread.

I know that from here on out our opinions will not be the only ones you consider and it sort of breaks my heart, even though I know it’s a completely normal part of your development. I want you to know that I really do hope you make wonderful friends and I will learn to share you, but I will also be praying hard that you will find the courage to be the person that you truly are, the person God made you to be, even when it’s not “cool”. I pray that you will be kind and brave and a hard worker. I pray that you will be a friend to others – especially when you see others treating them unkindly.

I’ve never been good with change (I once had a complete breakdown when your dad “surprised” me by rearranging our bedroom), but I know that in a few weeks my sadness over this transition will lift and I will catch your enthusiasm for this new chapter. And let’s be real…the lower noise decibels will probably be a pretty nice perk. Ha!

On the Eve of Your First Day of Kindergarten

Shine your brilliant, rainbow light on your new school my dear girl and I will be cheering you on tirelessly here at home. I am so glad God made me your mama. You are a gem baby girl.




  1. Christine Stinessen says:

    Such a lovely letter to your girl ❤️ I have a 5 and a half year old myself, who will be starting kindergarten this Tuesday, and I feel you – it’s heartbreaking, nerve wrecking and oh so exciting – and that’s just how we moms feel! A part of me feel like I’m loosing my little girl, and that she is growing up at such speed, that it’s hard to keep track and cherish all the moments before they fly by. But nevertheless, when I look at my girl, and I am sure this goes for you too, I feel such pride of the cool, sensible, warm and clever individual she already is, and I kinda know that she’ll be more than ok – she’ll thrive ❤️ Best of luck to your big, little Kindergartner 🙂

  2. I know exactly how you feel as Harlow is starting kindergarten as well this year. I feel as her only parent that I fear so much but I know she will do amazing We are both however blessed that Fernie is in our lives and I cant wait to see where Harlow and Fern will go and how much they learn. I know Fern Winter will be in my prayers as well each day ❤❤❤❤

  3. Oh my! I’m in tears after reading this. My oldest just started preschool two weeks ago and this is exactly (EXACTLY!) how I’ve been feeling too. I’m so fearful of her being off on her own, but yet so excited for her at the same time. I’m happy for her to make friends and do new things, but sad they are no longer including me. It breaks my heart when I don’t know what’s she’s done while she’s been away because she “doesn’t remember.” My daughter is only gone two and a half hours a day. I will be a complete mess next year when she’s in kindergarten all day. Thank goodness for younger siblings! Be strong, Mama. At least we both have our little girls a few more years before they are too cool for us!

  4. What a sweet post, I loved reading it! It’s crazy how fast the time goes and change is always tough, especially for us moms. Letting go is the biggest challenge I’ve experienced in motherhood but it’s always for the best. I’m sure Fern will absolutely love kindergarten 🙂

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