Non-Confrontationalist Problems

I am a non-confrontationalist.

I prefer peace and harmony, so I keep the peace at all costs and rarely air my grievances to anyone (except my husband and a couple of carefully chosen friends – bless them). The problem is though, I’m only good at keeping the peace on the surface. Like…things look completely chill on the exterior, but below the surface there’s a storm brewing. So much below the surface rage.

It’s kind of a problem.

The worst thing though, is that I typically tend to stew over people or situations that I can’t possibly change. Nothing is more infuriating. I play out the frustrations in my head over and over and give it way more mental space than necessary (or healthy really).

So, the way I see it, I have two options:

1) Grow a pair and air the grievances

This is OK in theory, but sometimes you can’t air your grievances, because for better or for worse you have to have an ongoing relationship with the person/people causing your frustration (think your boss, a teacher, a family member) and you know it’s unlikely that they’ll ever change so it would just make the working relationship miserable and strained.

2) Let it go

So basic. So hard to do.

But I am learning and trying to be better at it…at letting things go. Because I realized recently that there just are’t enough hours in the day to waste stewing about how other people have wronged you… especially when those people are oblivious/don’t care. Ain’t nobody got time for that, so I decided that I’m letting that ish go. I’m done giving mental space to people who aren’t giving me theirs.

In my 20’s I would’ve just kept stewing, but in my 30’s I’ve decided that I deserve better. Here’s to letting it go and saving our mental space for the people that really deserve it. I can’t change other people…I can only change me, so that’s what I’m going to focus on.



Leave a Comment