Sometimes I get super nostalgic for how things used to be back in the day.
(This photo has nothing to do with this post, except that it’s silly and I love that little photo bomber.)
Remember when we all used to log in on our blogspot.com #basic blogs and write our guts out to the vastness of the internet? No matter that our readership was small, it was loyal and it was lovely. We shared our hopes and dreams with little snapshots of our daily mundanity and it was glorious. There was no pressure to stage every single photo or to edit them into oblivion. There was no worry about Instagram algorithms or hash tagging. It wasn’t perfect, but it was really simple and lovely and welcoming.
Recently a friend sent me a link to this article talking about the prediction of “old school blogs” making a comeback in 2018 and it gave my heart a little glimmer or hope. Maybe it will never be as it once was, but I would love to focus a little more energy into a space that feels like it is 100% mine, you know?
So, this is me…doing that. Just writing and sharing my heart in more characters than will fit in an Instagram caption, because let’s be honest half of the time we don’t actually read to the bottom of a caption anyway. Our attention span has been whittled down into tiny little squares on a phone screed, but real life doesn’t just fit tidily into squares. It’s vertical and horizontal and bleeds out onto the edges sometimes. It’s messy and mundane and magical and I want more of that. More reality and transparency and vulnerability. More encouragement and connection and joy.
Let’s start with some intentions I have for myself for the coming year. I am not calling them resolutions, because I loathe resolutions and I hate the idea that something worth doing can only be started on January 1st, because what kind of complete nonsense is that?! I can set my intentions in February if I feel like it, because this is my life and my space and January doesn’t own me! Also, I like the word “intention” much better than “resolution” anyway…it sounds much kinder and gentler. Like a positive goal V.S. an intense task that is going to induce a stress/guilt/shame cycle. Like the difference between yoga and crossfit. Which…side bar, I am not trashing crossfit, because I’ve never done crossfit, and who knows maybe I would even like it? Anyway…rabbit trail…back to intentions.
#1: Dedicate at least 20 minutes a day to truly playing with and enjoying my children
Twenty minutes seems like such an insignificant amount of time that surely I must already be giving them that, right? Well, honestly, probably not. I mean, I devote countless hours to doing things for them, but unfortunately I spend a much smaller amount of time truly doing things with them. Every day, I want to sit down and play/read/whatever with them and to be truly present while I do it. I don’t need to entertain them all day every day…that would probably actually be pretty unhealthy, but soaking them up for a little bit of time each day seems doable. I may have to set a timer at first, but I’m gonna do it. Also, I talked about this on Instagram and creating a challenge of sorts to encourage other parents in being intentional with their kids and I’m planning to share that next week so stay tuned!
#1: Have focused time with each of my kids every week
I love the idea of having one-on-one dates with each of my kids on a frequent/regular basic, but it’s just not super realistic all the time. With three kids it gets a little crazy, but I think being intentional about giving each of them that individual attention they really crave once a week feels possible. I don’t want to set a specific amount of time. It might be 10 minutes, it might be two hours…just whatever fits our lives that week and what feels natural. Perhaps it will be an actual date with one of them some weeks, or maybe it will be just drawing with one kid while the others nap. I want each of them to feel loved and important and seen.
#3: Put away my phone at least one evening a week
As much as I want to set down my phone for my kids, I also need to be better about setting it down to focus on my husband. Truth be told at the end of the day I am almost always touched out, talked out, everything’d out and I just want to zone out on TV/scrolling Instagram. This is obviously not a great way to nurture a marriage. Maybe this will be the year I finally understand the rules to cribbage and we can make cribbage games our weekly thing?
#4: Read 3 books this year
I realize three books sounds like such a ridiculously small goal, but it’s a start. Especially considering the fact that I’ve probably only read five books total since becoming a mom six years ago. It’s pretty abysmal, but baby steps, right? Thinking about joining in on Dani Hampton’s “It’s All Good” low key book club. Anyone else interested in joining me?
#5: Move my body every day
I have treated my body like absolute garbage this past year and it shows…both physically and in how I feel. Exercising has never been something that I truly enjoy, but I think that’s because I made a drudgery out of it. I’m choosing instead of forcing myself to “workout”, to simply view this as treating my body with more care and that means finding a way to move (beyond just chasing after children) each and every day. Maybe that’s a walk with my kids or a 15 minute yoga practice. Maybe it’s an actual high intensity workout some days. But, I want it to be positive…not punitive.
#6: Figure out what I enjoy
If I’m completely honest about it, I’ve sort of lost myself a bit over the past six years. I threw myself into motherhood and over time I’ve sort of forgot to take time for the things I once enjoyed. At this point some of those things aren’t the same anyway, so this will be more an exploration of myself. Maybe I’ll try taking a hand lettering class or play around with floral arranging…maybe I’ll even try to dip my toes back into wardrobe styling. I really do miss it. But, I really just want to find one thing that feels like it’s just for me and that nurtures my soul.
#7: Write on this blog at least once a week
Once a week is a small goal that I feel like I can stick to. Maybe I’ll find my love for writing again and start doing more than that. Maybe some posts will just be sharing fun links or a cool product I’m enjoying…maybe it will be mostly photos…maybe word vomit..but it will be something.
What are your intentions for this year? Are any of them the same as mine? I would love to hear them!
Happy weekending friends!
xo
Lauren
I love word vomit – but cohesive, pulled together word vomit (which this totally is)! I think it’ll take a bit to catch on, but I for one welcome it! My goal is to simply push myself to “try” in 2018. (I shared my own intentions here, not to try to get clicks but because it explains it better than I can at the moment: http://megactsout.com/2018/01/big-ideas/)
I’m so with you on your intentions – I feel the need to be more present with my kiddos, to start moving more, to find out my interests again…oh, and even though I’m a librarian, I officially suck at reading (3 under 5 will do that to a person), so I’m totally into that goal.
Enough “comment vomit.” Good luck in 2018!
@Meg – Thanks for sharing those intentions! And seriously…that makes me feel infinitely better that you (as a LIBRARIAN!) still struggle to make reading happen. Makes me feel “normal”. Haha! Hope you have a lovely week! xo
Yes friend! I love reading your words…and I want to do it all too. Reading, exercise, nurturing the soul.
@Dana – Love you friend 🙂
I love this! I have been reading your blog for years…since around 2012 I guess…when my now almost 6 year old was a baby and so was your Fern. I remember loving your writing back then so much…so I’ll be happy to see a bit more of it! 🙂 I share a few of your intentions. The 20 focussed minutes a day sounds doable! And I totally want to make more intentional one on one dates, especially with my big girl. She’s getting to the age where it could be something as simple as taking her for sushi lunch, or trying something new (and active!) together like rock climbing! I already spend 2 days a week alone with my little one, but I’m pretty sure I almost never spend fully present time with just Lila (except when we are reading at night, but that is a constant for us!) Speaking of books…the one piece of advice I can give is to choose books you really wanna read. Not the books you think you should read. I’m sure there are tons of “must read” things I’m missing out there. But honestly, I don’t much enjoy reading non-fiction. As a kid/teen/young adult I would devour historical and/or fantasy/science fiction books. So this past year I’ve been just returning to that. Finding authors who write stories I want to read. I’ve loved Brandon Sanderson recently…the Mistborn trilogy is great if you like fantasy/science fiction with a strong female lead. And then I read all the Harry Potter books straight in like 6 months! So ya…read what you want and forget about checking books off a list…that’s gonna be my motto!
And I totally feel ya on the cribbage thing. I grew up playing Scrabble, that was our family game. His was crib. So now my husband and I play Scrabble (or the free version Words with Friends actually) on our phones now. But I swear he’s taught me crib around 4000 times and I still can’t remember it the next time we try to play! haha!
@Sara – Thanks for making me feel better about my lack of cribbage skill. I seriously cannot seem to get it. I forget the rules EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 🙁
And I love what you said about choosing books that you really want to read. I think that’s so smart. I totally used to love autobiographies and all the straight up classics when I was younger, but I just don’t have the attention span for them anymore. I think I need to just let it go and appreciate a little bit of fluff from time to time.
Good luck with those dates with your girl! It’s so hard to find the time, but always so well worth it :).